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What should toddlers call their private parts?
When curious preschoolers want to know what to call their private parts, parents are put on the spot. Here, we offer some expert tips.
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When it comes to a toddler’s curiosity about his or her privates, exact language is often the first victim. Some moms and dads will encourage their kids to use euphemisms, such as weenie, pee-pee, peeny, winky, wiener, willy, wee-wee, dinky, down there, gi-gi, buh-gina, doodle, peeper, jay-jay or simply, the business.
Is there a correct way to teach your preschooler about private parts, and an appropriate way to react to his or her questions?
Use accurate language
Stephanie Mitelman, a certified sexuality educator at McGill and Concordia universities in Montreal, says children start to differentiate between the sexes and genitalia at about age three.
“At this age, there’s a lot more investigation and imagination,” says Mitelman. She says it’s important to use accurate language – penis and vagina – from day one and to identify specific sexual anatomy so a child can tell us, for instance, if his scrotum is swollen."
The goal, Mitelman says, is to open channels of communication in an honest and forthright manner and to emphasize that it’s OK to talk about your body.
Don't ignore questions
Mike Evans, a health educator and director of the Health Design Lab at St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto, says that ignoring a child’s questions about their anatomy and then changing the subject are common first instincts for parents. But this approach will
backfire, he warns, because your kid’s questions will continue to crop up. The number one priority is creating a scenario where kids can talk if they have any problems or issues, Evans says.
Never too early
And Mitelman stresses that it’s never too early for these conversations. She advocates using such times as “teachable moments”
for discussing healthy sexuality. “If you say too much, kids will tune out, but if you say too little, they’ll start to ask questions,” says
Mitelman. “When you have a little kid who can name every one of Thomas’s trains and every Pokémon character, they certainly should be able to talk about all their body parts.”
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Bip (not verified) says ....
Wow, now this is a really unusaul question, pretty shocking how uninformed many women are about pregnancy and how they can get pregnant or not.Sallyb4s last [type] ..
Raquel (not verified) says ....
I am so glad people have been pointing out that it is inaccurate to say vagina!
sarsa (not verified) says ....
It's important for kids to know the correct anatomical names for thier genitals. Nobody ever wants to think of someone taking advantage of their child but should the unthinkable ever happen, it leaves no room for interpretation if a child says "my penis was touched" whereas using cutesie names are not as exact. Its an unfrotunate think that parents need to think of these days. My uncle is a police officer and this is advice that he provided when my children were young based on his experience and knowledge dealing with sex offenders. Don't be embarassed, you're doing the right thing by using correct words for anatomy.
Bren (not verified) says ....
Our daughter has always just referred to her parts as her 'big bum" and "little bum" because when she looks at herself in the mirror that is what it looks like to her. And for us that is fine for now as she is happy and content with it.
Beckie (not verified) says ....
One of my pet peeves is people saying vagina when they mean vulva. Anyhow, I taught my daughter correct terminology, I think around 2.5. She's learned slang & cutesy terms as she's gotten older, from friends, TV, me...(I use the term Hoo-ha, myself). One of the challenges I've found, is teaching her that some things are private, and not to talk about other people's private parts. I grew up with fairly correct terminology, but thought that these words, and corresponding body parts were bad, dirty, and shameful...I want better for my daughter.
Beckie (not verified) says ....
One of my pet peeves is people saying vagina when they mean vulva. Anyhow, I taught my daughter correct terminology, I think around 2.5. She's learned slang & cutesy terms as she's gotten older, from friends, TV, me...(I use the term Hoo-ha, myself). One of the challenges I've found, is teaching her that some things are private, and not to talk about other people's private parts. I grew up with fairly correct terminology, but thought that these words, and corresponding body parts were bad, dirty, and shameful...I want better for my daughter.
Jodie (not verified) says ....
I've avoided vagina because it wasn't anatomically correct. Never thought of using vulva. We just call it "front bum". I'll have to think about vulva.
Martha (not verified) says ....
We use penis and vulva too. More people need to learn the correct word for the female external genitalia! (Which I confess to not knowing until I was expecting my daugher!)
SEF (not verified) says ....
I agree on using accurate names for our parts, but after a quick lesson from my biology teacher girlfriend, we use penis and vulva. And wow, does my daughter ever enjoy saying "vulva"! :)