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"I don't want to go to daycare"

Changes at home or at the daycare can make drop-offs more difficult

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Originally published in Today's Parent January 2010

Most days, three-year-old Gabriele is quite happy to be dropped off at his daycare. But this morning, he glues himself to his dad’s leg. Why? His dad, Dave Curcio, says it’s hard to know.

Cindy Piwowar is a lecturer in early childhood education at Thompson Rivers University in Kamloops, BC. “When there’s a change in behaviour like that, it usually means something has changed. We often need to go back and try and figure out what it is.”

A new caregiver, changes in the program, the loss of a buddy, even the disappearance of his favourite red truck can throw a child for a loop, says Piwowar. Changes at home — even positive ones — can throw a preschooler off too: a move, a new baby, visiting grandparents or even a vacation.

Developmental change

Developmental change can also make children anxious about daycare. For example, a four- or five-year-old might be outgrowing the need for a nap, says Piwowar, who suggests that children be allowed to play with a quiet toy or look at a book during rest time. “I tell them, ‘You can rest your body, but you don’t have to sleep.’”

Here are some other things that may help kids feel better about daycare:

Follow consistent routines There’s security in knowing from experience what comes next. Most of the time when children are upset in the morning it’s because the drop-off routine has changed, says Piwowar. “I had a little girl whose daddy always brought her to daycare, read a story and then left. When mom started bringing her, she couldn’t get away without a huge tantrum and ended up staying over an hour with her daughter. Once this little girl and her mom started following a similar routine — reading a story, saying goodbye — the upset ended.”
Of course, there will be those times when routines will need to be altered, but if you’ve just come back from vacation, it might not be the best time for Grandma to drop off little Lucy at daycare. “It’s also important to talk to your child’s caregivers about changes at home they might otherwise not know about,” Piwowar adds.

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