Pregnancy

Christy and Paul Menard are confident, well spoken and wise beyond their 24 years. They’ve also been together since high school and describe themselves as each other’s best friend. So when the couple from Prince George, BC, began preparing for their first child last year, they were sure they could handle it. “We thought we were the turbo-couple who could handle anything that was thrown at us,” says Christy.

“We were pretty arrogant about it,” Paul agrees. “We didn’t think that one little baby would have a drastic impact. We figured he would fit into our life and it would all work out with just a little bit of disruption.”

Then Hawksley arrived in December, after four days of labour and a C-section. Christy watched her laid-back and unflappable husband pushed to his breaking point from sheer fatigue, while Paul saw his upbeat wife endure the postpartum blues. The turbo-couple was feeling the strain. “We spent so much time looking after the baby’s needs that we forgot to look after each other and our needs as a couple, and it got pretty stressful there for a while,” Christy remembers. “Even when we did have a few moments alone together, we were so tired that all we wanted to do was sleep. We didn’t even want to look at each other.”

No experience in life can compare with bringing your first child into the world. It’s a moment that changes everyone — and every couple. There are wonderful moments but, as the Menards discovered, those first few weeks and months ain’t easy. “It’s a very difficult time, and I don’t think people are prepared for it,” says Karen Hirscheimer, a couples therapist in Toronto. “They don’t expect it to be as hard as it is.”

Originally published in Today's Parent Pregnancy & Birth, Autumn 2006