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Doulas and dads

Does professional labour support diminish the father's role? Many couples find it's just the opposite

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Originally published in Today's Parent April 2010

My wife and I never did find a doula. Late in her pregnancy, we moved to a small town in northern BC and were unable to locate one. Instead, I stayed up late every night, reading books on what a doula actually does, desperately trying to retain as much information as possible. On the big day, I did my best to mimic the actions I had read about. While I managed reasonably well, I can’t help but think I was somehow doing the work of three people: dad, partner and doula. I would have been more than happy to share some of that responsibility.

Why a doula?

“I was really scared with my first child,” admits Annie Thompson. “I didn’t know what to expect.” Most first-time mothers share Annie’s fear of the unknown. Births aren’t always straightforward and, leading up to the event, the amount of information you have to take in is quite daunting. In prenatal classes, Annie and her husband, Cam, learned about the role of the doula and made the decision to include one in their birth plans. Connecting with one was easy in their case: Their prenatal instructor doubled as a doula and agreed to take them on.

A doula offers an expectant mother knowledgeable support — she’s seen it all before. It goes back to a more traditional style of birth when the women of a community were more closely connected. However, a doula’s support is just as valuable in a high-tech hospital birth as in a home birth, perhaps even more so. Research shows that births with a doula tend to have shorter labours and fewer interventions, and result in a greater sense of satisfaction for the moms.

What exactly can couples expect a doula to do? Simple: anything they want. If all they need is for someone to pat them on their backs while they get on with the task at hand, a doula can do just that. Alternatively, she can be hands-on, coaching mom every step of the way. Or, and this is probably the most likely choice, she can be somewhere in between. “My one piece of advice to expectant parents,” says Barber, “[is] to be sure that your doula is clear on the role you want her to take.” For Cam and Annie, Barber’s role was on the sidelines, advocating on their behalf and continually reminding them what they were there for. Her vision was to help both partners through the birth experience.

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