Get your kids to do what you ask
Nagging won’t make your kids do the dishes or put their toys away, but a little psychology might
Whitney Noble has had the same problem since her kids were small. When she asks Ryan and Lindsay, now 12 and 15, to help out — put away the school bag, take out the garbage — they say, “Sure.” But too often, the Thornhill, Ont., mom ends up doing the dirty work herself. What gives?
“It’s always ‘Oops, I forgot!’ or ‘I’ll do it later!’ or, most infuriating, ‘It wasn’t my mess!’” says Noble, who claims her kids have always suffered from the magic fairy syndrome. “They figure the fairy (me!) will do their jobs if they don’t!” It’s a frustration we all can relate to — yet it’s important to keep calm while encouraging kids to follow through with age-appropriate household tasks. Here are some helpful strategies:
Resist, desist
“Never take on their jobs, no matter how tempting it is to pick that underwear off the floor,” says Jo-Anne Cutler, a family communications specialist in Toronto. Kids are conditioned to “forget” to follow through, she says, because you’ve taught them that if they do nothing, you’ll throw up your hands and come to the rescue.
No more. Sit your kids down and explain that you need and value their help in the household, whether it’s wiping the counter or unpacking lunch bags. Then tell them you are turning in your fairy wand. The hardest part, Cutler says, is sticking to your guns — even if sometimes a cup hangs out on the coffee table for three days straight.
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What do you think?
Andrea (not verified) says ....
This is a very simplistic and useless version of how to get kids to do what parents want. Every age is different and requires a different approach. Not picking up after them is only one issue and not doing it for them is not the answer. I agree with using humour though.
Rhona S. (not verified) says ....
Great reminders that us tired parents are aware of, but easily forget. I deal with the same frustrating situations on a daily basis, and am eager to give these suggestions a try. Happy to say that this fairy has turned in her wand!!!