The REAL lives of stay-at-home parents

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I stayed home for 11yrs and looked after my daughter. She was born -premature and taking care of her was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's a big sacrifice. I had given up a lot for that many years ,but not a moment of regrets because I did it for love.
Staying home and doing all the work was all part of life getting paid or not, It's all a part of the oath we took when we said our I do's on the alter so why run away? I'm sure my daughter will remember all the sacrifice I made to raise her at home instead of hired help from someone. And , in that note it becomes her example to follow one day when she becomes a mom herself.

As a working mom of 3 I gotta say that it has its own challenges. Yes, you do get to have a “break” from the kids during the day but there are the crazy demands of working in the corporate world. I don’t leisurely drink a cup of coffee or go out for long lunches – most of the time I am glued to a desk so I can get out at a decent hour. And then we pick up kids from daycare, come home and do all the other parenting stuff – dinner, cleaning, baths, homework, extra-curricular activities, playdates – all the stuff that SAHP’s do except in a shorter time frame. I’m not saying that what I do is harder or easier, just that the real lives of working parents isn’t all flower and sunshine either. And I’m tired of having people say that working parents get a break – trust me we don’t.

I laugh when people tell me: Ohhh so you do not work, you are only at home, right?... oh, yes, WE DO WORK, with no extra time, no sick days, and no nice outfits or coffee time...we cook, drive, clean, juggle, break fights, get groceries, attend the ill, repair broken hearts, bake, nurse, etc etc...My Love and I made this decision together, and I do not regret it, because we are very blessed. It can be overwhelming, and exhausting, but I will share some of my favorite tips with kristine h, friend, try to find nice Mums like you with kids around the age of your little ones, you can go to an Ontario Early Years Centre which are free, and have your little one busy and happy with activities while you chat with other adults. Or go to the splash pads and parks, we like Jack Darling and Coronation Park a lot, grab a picnic basket and a big blanket. Let your little one meet other friends and relax, read, buy yourself a frapuccino and enjoy the moment for yourself. I also started to go to Chapters to read since they were young, and also we read them books a lot, and now that is one of our favorite havens when the weather is not that nice, because we go and read and I can relax for a little with our super active and wonderful 6, 4 and one year old ones. There are lots of museums and activities for families all year round in Ontario and Canada, look on the internet or even on this kind of magazines. Your little one gets busy and you can chat with other Mums and adults around. And also, once in a while, leave your little one with your husband, mother, sister, etc. and get a break for yourself. You deserve it, even if you go shopping groceries or clothes, some hours for yourself are very well for your body and soul. MD, friend, the same advices to you. I know how it feels not to be able to close the washroom door or drink a cup of tea or even read a magazine, but for me - I do not have family near by us, and most of my friends work- these tips work pretty well. Also, try to take walks with your little ones, girls, because that helps to boost your moods and your body at the same time, and even if you put your kids on a pram or a bike trailer, they will enjoy the ride as well as you will do. Blessings and the best, take care!

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I'm a SAHM to a 3YO and a 9MO - I was really excited to read this article and felt sure it would dispel the myths about SAHPs...it didn't! This article made it sound like we're all Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music hilltop scene! It can be brutally exhausting and lonely and many people assume it's a luxury to stay home and tell me I'm so lucky. I am lucky, but this was a CHOICE we made; we don't go on vacations, we don't go on expensive dates and we cut corners in lots of ways to make this work. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life!

It's nice to hear stories about stay at homes. I get questions all the time regarding this. Mostly on how we can do it. I stay at home and homeschool 6 of my 7 children (one is an infant). My husband goes to school and when he's not at school we play. I have lots of time in my day even with homeschooling and all their extracurricular activities. We don't have money issues as we prioritize. We don't do TV or video games. We don't travel far. But we still do things. We have ski trips and dance competitions. We visit family and we also have to travel for our infant to see his cardiologist since he has had open heart surgery at 4 days old. We just keep our travels within a certain radius. If we want a bigger trip, we save. The kids each have their own paper routes, so that's where their spending money comes in. No allowance. They get rewarded for their behaviour with family activities which they much prefer. We have family game night 3 days a week (the kids would like more) and family movie night with a projector and popcorn. We have lots of time in our day to just play and learn through play. It's totally do-able if things are thought out and prioritzed. The kids are more mature than their peers and we have a great relationship with them. I also don't worry about playmates and creativity. They have great relationships with each other and have friends from their groups. Also the older ones love helping with the younger ones. As we speak, our oldest daughter has our younger 3 boys outside in the snow leading an excavation into King Tut's tomb (candy and plastic jewelry buried in the snow digging with spoons after following clues) so I have time to check my email. I could not imagine having anyone else raise my kids, if I worked outside the home and have daycare or teachers. This works for us. I don't want to be anywhere else but with my family. I feel there is a stigma for sahm. Everyone does what they need and want. There is no wrong way.

#7 and #8 just made me cry. I am a SAHM to a 17 month-old baby girl and am just coming through a dark period. I felt (and still feel, but my daughter is getting much more interactive and entertaining!) bored, tired, like I was a crappy mom for being bored and tired and not appreciating my daughter fully. Some days I would go to bed and think "how on earth am I going to get the energy and creativity to keep us both happy and fufilled tomorrow?" I was getting to the point where I thought my daughter would be better off and happier if I just went back to work and she could be surrounded by playmates at daycare. But this week has actually been a turning point. Even one of my friends said to me today "it's like she went to bed and grew up over night!" We are having so much fun together, and seeing her dance and laugh and interact with me is wonderful. And the way takes times out from running around with her friends, or playing dolls with me to plant a big kiss on me as a thank you for all the fun, fills me up with so much pride and love.

I am returning to work after mat leave in January... just a few short weeks away. I am struggling with this in a major way. I would love to be a stay-at-home-mom just until Baby goes to school. After loosing our first daughter, you really put in percepective what matters most (time with family) on the other hand, said family needs a place to stay and food to eat. My parents raisd 3 kids on a salary concidered to be under the poverty line. I only nring this up to show that I do know that with budgeting it is possible to live on one paycheck even if the sacrifices are huge. I was happy to have my mom raise me but I always kinda resented (years later) that she did everything for us and putherselfon hold - no financial recourse if anything would have happened to my dad, for example. Yup, the big work vs SAHP question is a huge one! Thanks for this artivle TP, but I do agree with other reviwers that an article on working parents is needed here too.

Frankly I would love to not be a SAHM. I guess it is a case of the grass is always greener but I feel like I NEVER get a break from my kid I can't do anything for myself in peace. I dream of if I could only work outside of the house I would have a few hours to be an adult and concentrate on something else. Then I could come back and see the little man and just be happy to see him again instead of constantly worn out and frustrated. DS is a very demanding child time and attention-wise and I can't go to the toilet without him hammering on the door and wanting in. I cant sit down and eat a meal without interruption he's four now but I feel like being always availiable has made him more dependant not better adjusted.

I agree with nicoelh's comment..... any articles about how to juggle both parents being at work and taking care of a house with two boys? I haven't been a TP member for long, so maybe I missed important articles, but I'd love to get tips from other parents that are finding the everyday rush routine of Shift #1 (daytime job) and Shift #2 (home life) nothing short of exhausting. It seems my husband and I are always trying to catch up on everything else outside of work (laundry, groceries, homework, housecleaning, meal planning - we have severe food allergies so we must have homemade meals, ...) Unfortunately, we do not have the chance of living close to our workplaces, so carpooling is long (average 2:15 hours per day), we don't have any help at home (such as nanny, housekeeper, grand-parents,....) and we simply don't have the financial capability to hire any help, reduce hours at work, or have one of us stay at home. Sometimes I wonder how I'm still standing up straight..... Hats off to all parents out there! ;)

Interesting read -- but I've read it all before. Any articles planned for the "real lives of working parents"?