Parent Time

When I was in trouble, my mother would order me to my room. And there I would lie, sobbing on my canopy bed, until I’d hear my hero’s soft knock.

“Can I get you a banana?” Dad would whisper. “Don’t tell Mom.”

Our household is not much different. My kids know that if Daddy says no, I’m their best bet, and vice versa. And even though my husband and I claim to support each other, I have to admit that we both secretly like that hero role. A lot. So if our daughter can convince me that Daddy shouldn’t have sent her to her room, shut off the TV or banned the iPod, she is hoping I will go to him and plead her case.

“We all like the feeling of being loved most by our kids,” says Vancouver family counsellor Kelly Nault, author of When You’re About to Go off the Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids with You. While playing good cop/bad cop may seem innocent enough, it’s not. When we don’t stick together as one parenting unit, child-rearing experts say, we are actually undermining our own discipline strategies. So read on for key partnership pointers that will keep you and your spouse on the same discipline track.

Originally published in Today's Parent, October 2008