Parent Time

It was my first trip away from my husband and kids — a weekend writing workshop in Toronto. Despite meticulous planning and a brave goodbye at the Ottawa train station, there I was at midnight in a Toronto hotel room on the verge of tears and overwhelmed, on the phone to my best friend. “What made me think this was a good idea? I should have stayed at home!”

What a difference a day makes. Helped by reassuring reports from home (you know your kids are fine when they’re too busy to talk to you), I hit the downtown streets with an unexpected spring in my step — who knew I’d feel so light without a diaper bag on my shoulder?

I used my late-night panic as fodder for my writing workshop and my fellow students laughed when I read the resulting story out loud. It was about then I remembered, “Hey, I’m good at this.”

By the time I left on Sunday, I took with me an expanded network, a fresh outlook and the conviction to take a similar program at least once a year.

Why do we mothers find it so hard to take time for ourselves? Especially when we know that it’s critical to our mental health, self-worth and overall well-being? By time for ourselves, I mean anything that gives us satisfaction: socializing, exercise, volunteering, painting, working.

Even when you embrace the concept, it can still be a struggle to carve out a piece of your life just for you. So we went to the busiest moms we could find to find out how they do it. All combine parenting with outside activities, some paid, some not.

Originally published in Today's Parent, September 2007