Parent Time

Almost as though he knows what I’ve been researching, my two-year-old is going through a phase of crying when he goes to bed, and a previously surefire sleep inducer — a “waddy bock” (water bottle) — just isn’t doing the job. Cuddling finally gets him to sleep, and he’s fine until about 2 a.m., when he wakes up wailing. I usually give in when he asks to get out of his crib just so I can get some sleep: He spends the rest of the night snoring happily between my husband and me.

Anthropologists refer to this practice as “reactive co-sleeping,” (that is, bringing the baby into your bed sometimes, but enforcing solitary sleep at other times), which is not considered a good idea by most baby“experts.” And although parent-baby co-sleeping is by far the most common practice worldwide and throughout history, it has fallen out of favour in Western cultures in the last century.

But I know Sammy will soon be happy to sleep on his own again. This kind of realization is perhaps the most important thing to understand about co-sleeping: Your parental instinct is vital. “Parents are becoming empowered,” says James McKenna, an anthropologist and director of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame in Indiana. “They’re making their own decisions.” While advice from the experts can enhance, explain or validate your experience, ultimately it won’t be the driving force behind your choice of sleeping arrangements.

What is co-sleeping?
This term applies to any arrangement in which adults sleep in close proximity to their children. McKenna says there are countless forms of co-sleeping practised around the world, ranging from cribs in the parents’ bedroom, to hammocks hung over the parents’ bed or futons beside it, to actually sharing a bed.

Originally published in Today's Parent Baby & Toddler, Fall 2002