Parent Time

Despite what kids may think, we don’t ask them to help around the house just to interrupt their fun. Doing chores lets a kid know he plays an important role in his family and does great things for his perception of himself. Long-term it’s vital. When we hand responsibilities over to our kids — bit by bit, as they grow into them — they become independent, confident and kind adults, prepared for the challenges of looking after themselves and others.

So what can kids do and when? Just as each child walks at a slightly different age, each child is ready to wrangle a vacuum in his own time. Give or take a year, here’s what your kids can tackle as they grow.

Preschoolers

Preschoolers are riding trikes and kicking and throwing balls. They are also beginning to understand the needs of others and may be eager to help now — without prompting. “This is a good cue for parents,” says Laurie McNelles, a child and adolescent specialist and teacher of child development at York University in Toronto. “When they start volunteering, they are developing that awareness.”

• Maybe you didn’t even know you needed help to sort socks. Jan Gaudet, parenting program support at the Ontario Early Years Centre in London, Ont., explains that at three to four years of age, kids are learning to categorize. With laundry, they could sort out big and small — Dad’s socks and children’s socks.

• Your child can help to set the table — one (non-spillable) item at a time. Do the job with her so she’ll start to learn where to put the plates, cups and utensils.

• A preschooler can put her toys away if the storage is accessible. McNelles suggests it’s best to give her a specific task (such as putting puzzles on the shelf) rather than a general direction to tidy her room — that’s a job with many steps.

• Most preschoolers love to spray and wipe things like a table or cupboard doors, or to (sort of) wash windows. Just give your child something safe to spray like plain water.

• Let your child help to look after another creature. “Around age five or six, children really like to care for others,” says Gaudet. “So helping to feed, water or brush the family pet is a great opportunity to learn about responsibility.”

Originally published in Today's Parent, March 2010