Parent Time

We all have bad days — sometimes even bad weeks. And usually a bit of me-time, a quick pep talk or a big hug is enough to put us back on track. But what do you do when you can’t shake a bout of sadness? Or you’re so tightly wound you’re always snapping at people? If this sounds like you, it may be worth going outside your circle of family and friends for some professional help.

When it comes to therapy, the options are plentiful, and there’s no one treatment for any one problem. Here are some suggestions about how to find the help that suits you best.

You’re feeling...anxious

Anxiety is important: It can stop you from talking to a creepy stranger, or kick your butt into gear when you have a deadline to meet. But sometimes it can get unwieldy. You might find yourself fixating on worst-case scenarios or feeling frantic for no apparent reason. The anxiety actually becomes bigger than whatever is making you anxious.

Try: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT has you flip back through your thinking and pull out your most worrisome thoughts. What had you so worked up yesterday when you couldn’t find your son’s puffer? Maybe it was the moment your mind told you, “I’m too irresponsible to be a parent.” CBT asks you to step back and evaluate whether this is reasonable. Does losing track of a puffer make you an unfit parent? The idea is to bring the problem back into perspective — that way you can do something about it, and move on.

On the behavioural side, CBT gets you to gradually do things you may be leery of. Let’s say you’re terrified of driving on the highway, but avoiding it means not going to work. CBT would give you incremental exercises to tackle the fear, starting with a quick exit-to-exit journey, building up to longer and longer stretches of road. “You get used to the situations, and the anxiety or discomfort [level] goes down,” explains Toronto psychologist Eilenna Denisoff.

Details CBT is done in groups and individually in weekly sessions over 10 to 20 weeks. The therapist should have special training in CBT. Depending on the therapist’s professional background and the province she practises in, sessions usually cost between $150 and $205, and many counsellors will negotiate a sliding scale. Often employment benefits cover costs for a limited number of sessions. Some social service agencies, where counselling is often free, have therapists trained in CBT.

To find out more
• read Mind over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky
• look online at anxietycanada.ca or paniccenter.net

Originally published in Today's Parent, August 2008