Parent Time

If you're thinking of starting a babysitting co-op in your community, we've got some forms (in PDF format), courtesy of the co-ops in this article to help you along your way.

You cancel your doctor’s appointment because your mom’s too busy to watch the kids, and you can’t bring them with you to the clinic because of the time your four-year-old stuck a speculum on his nose and ran through the waiting room quacking like a duck. You’re desperate for a little couple time, but can’t justify the bank loan necessary to cover the cost of a babysitter. Your teenage sitter goes off to university, and you find yourself sending her weepy “Come home soon!” cards.

Chances are, you’ve experienced similar child-care crises. But they could be things of the past thanks to babysitting co-ops - groups of parents who swap sitting time for more freedom, more peace of mind and more money in their pockets. These five families swear by the benefits of co-op care. We hope their stories will help guide you toward babysitting bliss.

Jennifer and Carl Mathews
Samantha, age four
Cochrane, Alberta

Jennifer Mathews heard about the Cochrane Babysitting Co-op through a powerful advertising medium known as word of mouth. When a past member told her the group, in operation since 1985, was on a recruiting drive, “I just phoned them up, went to a meeting and was hooked.”

This is a fairly formalized co-op with specific rules and regulations. Sits are mostly weekday affairs, and membership is restricted to families with preschoolers. “Once your child hits grade one,” says Mathews, “you’re out of the co-op.” Interested parents are invited to attend a monthly meeting. “After that, the ball starts rolling.”

First, every individual in the household over 18 undergoes a police check. Then the chairperson and one other co-op parent visit the prospective member’s home to review co-op criteria and childproofing requirements. At their second meeting, new members pay $2 in exchange for 30 hours’ worth of babysitting tokens. Then, they’re off and sitting.

It’s just under two years since Mathews got involved in the co-op, and she can’t imagine life without it. “When other kids come to our house, they’re so occupied I find it easier to get things done.” And what does Mathews do when it’s her turn for kid-free time? “It’s just nice to go grocery shopping without my little helper.”

Type of co-op: Centralized.
Payment system: One red “tiddlywinks” token an hour for one child, a red and a blue token for two children.
Number of families participating: Up to 12.
Dues: $2 (one time).

Rosemarie and David Sims
Christopher, age four
Vancouver, British Columbia

Rosemarie Sims loves the immediate social network the Douglas Park Babysitting Co-op has given her family. “If the community centre has a Halloween party, we’ll see co-op members there. If we go to the park, we’ll inevitably run into someone from the co-op.”

The group holds three or four social events a year - such as dances and Easter egg hunts. “That way people who have expressed an interest can come see who we are before they decide if they’re comfortable leaving their children with us,” says Sims.

The Douglas Park Co-op works on a points system. New members automatically receive 60 points and, should they decide to withdraw from the co-op, have to cash out with the same number of points or pay a penalty. All adults must be non-smoking, certified in CPR and must agree to an RCMP criminal check.

The members of the Sims’ co-op are a diverse bunch: single parents and couples, stay-at-home parents and those who work part- or full-time. Because members’ babysitting needs are as varied as the group itself, individual sits are negotiable. Sims tells of one couple who worked overlapping shifts and needed someone to care for their daughters one day a week. Because the Sims work part-time, they were able to help out. That flexibility cuts both ways. “We often get offered tickets to an event for that evening,” says Sims. The couple’s never had to turn down a last-minute opportunity because they couldn’t find a sitter.

Having a sitter just a phone call away can mean more than an evening out. “One of our group is a single mom who had health problems,” says Sims. “So we all pitched in to do extra babysitting. She needed certain injections, and some of the members of our group are nurses, so they were able to do that.”

Grown-ups aren’t the only ones who benefit from this support network. Thanks to the co-op, Sims' son has a bunch of new buddies in the neighbourhood. “He has a great time when he’s looked after by someone else. For him, it’s just a playdate.”

Type of co-op: Centralized.
Payment system: Two points an hour for one child, three points an hour for two children, four points an hour for three or more children.
Number of families participating: Ten.
Dues: $10 a year for social functions and administrative costs.

Teresa and Jeff Morris
Kimberly, age 11; Andrea, age nine
Winnipeg, Manitoba

Teresa Morris was living on the Canadian Forces Base in Edmonton when she discovered the joys of babysitting co-ops. At the time Morris - who’s a diabetic - was making frequent trips to the doctor’s office. “Instead of dragging my two-year-old along,” she says, “I had a couple of girlfriends who would watch her.” But that arrangement wasn’t always reliable. Then Morris signed up with a co-op. “You don’t feel like you’re begging and always calling on the same person or abusing your friendship.”

A couple of years later, Morris moved to Winnipeg, and one of the first things she did was to call up the Winnipeg Military Family Resource Centre (WMFRC) and ask if the base had a co-op. The answer was no, but the centre offered administrative support if Morris could round up other interested moms. She did. In 1994, the WMFRC Childcare Co-op was born.

All prospective members submit to military police and provincial child-abuse checks. Once they pass muster, the rules are simple: “Say I went to your house tonight to babysit for you,” explains Morris. “On your record sheet, you would write down the time and how long you had babysitting. I’d write the same thing down on my sheet, and we’d keep track of our standing balance that way.” At monthly meetings, the women tally up their totals. “If you’re planning to go out, but find you’re a bit low on points,” says Morris, “you can ask people to phone you to sit for them, so you can rack up the points.”

Military life being what it is, Morris’s husband is frequently away for long stretches of time. It’s a relief, she says, to have somewhere to turn when she needs a break from the kids.

Type of co-op: Decentralized. Receives administrative support services from the Military Family Resource Centre in Winnipeg.
Payment system: Two points an hour for one child, an extra point per hour for each additional child.
Number of families participating: Eight.
Dues: None.

Suzanne Tobin and Peter Simpson
William, age five; Cameron, age 21 months
Toronto, Ontario

A chance meeting at a mothers’ fitness and discussion group led Suzanne Tobin to the inaugural meeting of a babysitting co-op starting up in her community. “At the time, we were really ill informed,” says Tobin. “We just crafted the co-op ourselves and put a simple list of rules together.”

That was five years ago. Today, the co-operative is thriving. Some of its founders have moved on, new members have joined and the co-op’s taken on a distinctly... literary flavour. “We used to meet once a month,” says Tobin, “but realized we didn’t have that much to discuss.” Group members did, however, enjoy getting together, so they started a book club. Now monthly meetings alternate between discussions of the latest read and co-op business.

Tobin’s group is made up primarily of parents who work outside the home, so sitting usually takes place on weekends and evenings. Typically, her husband, Peter, stays home to watch their children when Tobin goes out to babysit. “It sounds crazy,” she laughs, “but it’s totally refreshing to go to someone else’s house.” After the kids are tucked into bed, Tobin reads, listens to CDs or catches up on her photo albums. No laundry to fold. No dishes to wash. “It’s really phenomenal!” When it’s Tobin’s turn to cash in a few chips, she’s confident her sons are in capable hands. “These are all experienced moms,” says Tobin. “If there’s ever a problem, they’ll know exactly what to do.”

Tobin does have a word of caution about this system: “It doesn’t work as well if your husband works long hours and can’t be home with your kids when you go out to babysit.” It’s also not ideal for single parents without support. Type of co-op: Decentralized.

Payment system: Two poker chips an hour for one child, three chips an hour for two or more children.
Number of families participating: Ten.
Dues: None.

Frances Borg
Lucas, age 21 months
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia

Personal need prompted Frances Borg to start the Albro Lake Babysitting Co-op. “I’m a single parent and have a limited income,” says Borg. “So I’d rather spend my money on something I can use in my home, be it food or whatever.” The co-op, she says, takes the financial sting out of a night out.

Borg first heard about babysitting co-ops at the Dartmouth Family Resource Centre. “One of the moms had done a lot of research online,” she says. Borg saw how the idea could work in her own life and, after talking to a few other parents, decided to champion the cause. “We had a meeting and asked parents what their needs were. Then we spent a lot of time laying down good foundations.” The group’s already seen its efforts pay off. “We started with a base group of three families and have seven now,” says Borg. She hopes that number will double by the end of 2002.

“For two people, parenting is a tough go,” says Borg. “For one person, it can be immensely isolating.” Even though the co-op is still in its infancy, Borg has already used it to “fund” ten outings. And that, she figures, means she’s had ten more opportunities to rejuvenate and recharge than she could have afforded a year ago.

Type of co-op: Decentralized. Receives administrative support through the Dartmouth Family Resource Centre and some funding from a Metro United Way Neighbourhood Building grant.
Payment system: One point per child, per hour. Additional points for meals.
Number of families participating: Seven.
Dues: None.

Getting It off the Ground

Babysitting co-ops work on a simple principle: I’ll watch your kids if you watch mine. Rather than relying on a couple of friends, however, you can draw on a pool of several willing babysitters. No money exchanges hands. And an experienced parent, not a teenager who thinks that Tempra is the name of a hip-hop band, cares for your child. Sound like the answer to a prayer? Follow these simple guidelines and watch your co-op take flight.

• Begin with a faithful few. “Most co-ops,” says Gary Myers,author of the Smart Mom’s Babysitting Co-op Handbook, “start with just four moms.” Those four tell four friends, who tell four friends, and so on. Aim for a membership of between ten to 20 families, advises Myers. With fewer numbers, the co-op might sputter out; more could become unwieldy.
• Nail down your structure. Decide what kind of co-op worksbest for your members. Should a secretary coordinate sits (centralized model) or will members arrange for their own sits using a master phone list (decentralized model)? Will you track sitting time using points or tokens? Where should sits take place? Should members be required to carry homeowner’s liability insurance (to protect themselves in the event a child in their care is injured)? Hammering out the details today means fewer problems in the future.
• Share the load. Who wants to pile more responsibilities on an already bursting-at-the-seams life? If you opt for a centralized model, yet want to avoid volunteer burnout, rotate co-op duties regularly. Myers suggests a six-month term for co-op leaders, a one-month term for secretaries.
• Safety first! It’s essential, says Myers, “to do home safety checks and to learn about new participants before inviting them to join.” Once a family is onboard, create medical release forms and distribute them to the group. Establish childproofing requirements. And encourage all members to take a CPR course.
• Keep in touch. Hold group get-togethers at least six times a year. They give you a chance to meet the other parents, who may care for your children, and are vital for the smooth functioning of the co-op. “Be prompt,” says Myers, “and bring your calendars.” Meetings are a great time to coordinate sitting dates.

Want to Learn More?

Smart Mom’s Babysitting Co-op Handbook , by Gary Myers, Tukwila Book Publishing, 2000.

The Babysitting Co-op Guidebook: Building a Community Support Network , by Patricia McManus, DIANE Publishing, 1993.

The Mother’s Almanac Revised , by Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons, Doubleday, 1992.

June 2002