Parent Time

We’ve all heard the nightmare stories. Lovers-turned-enemies. Kids caught in a furious tug-of-war. It’s no wonder so many couples, facing marriage collapse, find themselves scared silly. “Some fear that if they don’t hire a barracuda to go in for the kill, they’ll lose everything,” says Christopher Arnold, president of the Ontario Collaborative Law Federation. Indeed, with about 38 percent of Canadian marriages doomed to end, our courts are overloaded with difficult support, custody and property division claims. The good news is, though, you do have a choice. Either take your chances and let some judge divvy up the spoils, or take matters into your own hands.

Most of us have false expectations about the results we’ll get in court, says lawyer Judith Huddart, chair of Collaborative Practice Toronto, which includes a network of 75 specially trained lawyers and financial and family professionals. In her experience, once divorcing couples start feeling the costs — to their wallet, their health, their relationship — they’re grateful for a more constructive and compassionate way to resolve their differences.

In fact, across Canada, the collaborative approach is steadily gaining momentum. In Toronto alone, about 30 percent of family lawyers have collaborative law training, and in Medicine Hat, Alta., collaboration, not litigation, is now the norm.

Originally published in Today's Parent, September 2007