Parent Time

In the early '90s, I was a young lawyer taking on my first divorce case. “You strong?” Mr. X asked, sizing me up. “Because her lawyer [big sigh] is a pit bull.”

“Oh, come now,” I soothed, fancying myself part teacher, about to insist my petulant students shake hands. “There’s always a way to work things out.”

That afternoon, a fax spat onto my desk: Your client is hiding money; he was late picking up his son; he’d better return the TV or else... Fuming, I fired back my reply. This, no doubt, was War.

Though I didn’t know it then, a new movement called Collaborative Practice had already hit Canada. The brainchild of Minnesota lawyer Stu Webb, the process encourages divorcing couples and their lawyers to lay down their weapons and — gasp! — talk.

Taking a seat across from your soon-to-be-ex may seem impossible when you’re so angry you could scream. But for more and more spouses, collaboration — working together, with your lawyers, to produce your own separation agreement — may be the best way to sidestep a needlessly bloody breakup. Read on to get a handle on whether it’s the right path for you.

Originally published in Today's Parent, September 2007