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Dealing with jealousy

The birth and development of your child's green-eyed monster

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Originally published in Today's Parent September 2009

Scientists recently noticed something that parents have long known: Babies literally kick up a fuss when someone competes for mom’s attention — flailing their legs and babbling until her gaze returns their way.

“Look at me!” that cooing, kicking or screeching seems to say. And that’s literally what baby’s demanding, says study leader Maria Legerstee, director of York University’s Infancy Centre for Research in Toronto. “Jealousy is a normal reaction to anyone who threatens a social bond,” she explains. And few bonds can match the importance of that between parent and child.

Yet we know that our child must bring his green-eyed monster under control as he matures — even as his expanding social life brings new situations that beckon the ogre forth. Here then is age-by-age advice from child development experts and parents who’ve been there.

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