1. Skip to navigation
  2. Skip to content
  3. Skip to sidebar


Impatience with younger siblings

Does it feel as though your kids are constantly arguing? Sibling squabbles are both frustrating and normal

By //
Originally published in Today's Parent December 2008

Eleven-year-old Steven is reading National Geographic. His five-year-old brother, Edward, hovers around him, looking at the photos but really just wanting to be near his big brother. As mother Kendra Long* recalls, the conversation went like this:

Steven: Stop that!
Edward (continues lurking)
Steven: You always do that, and you’re annoying me! Go away!
Edward: Sniff...sniff...waaaaaaa!

That’s when Long jumped in: “I told him, ‘I think you’ve broken your little brother’s heart!’”

Long reminded Steven about the times he tried to read the newspaper over his father’s shoulder, and how hurt he’d felt when his dad complained. Steven got it quickly and made an effort to share the magazine with Edward, pointing to the pictures and reading out the captions.

Younger children and older siblings

Younger children tend to adore their older siblings. They’re impressed with what they can do, and they are eager for a little attention and affection. The older kids, of course, are far less impressed. They resent having to wait for little ones who want to do little-kid stuff on family outings, they resent little kids trailing after them and hate it when small hands get into their precious things. Parents find it hard to hit the right balance that meets older and younger kids’ needs.

*Names changed by request

What do you think?