Crafts & Fun

Richard Heringer and his five-year-old son, Alex, are playing Scrabble. And no, Alex is not a young prodigy. The Heringers just have a very open-ended approach to board games:

“Let’s put letters on all the red squares,” suggests Alex. “You can go first.” After they’ve taken turns filling in all the reds, Alex finds a new approach. “I want to make my name. I have an ‘A’...” Heringer obliges by pulling out the bag of remaining tiles, and together they rummage through them, pulling out the letters needed to spell Alex. Alex carefully runs his name through the middle square (“right on the star”).

“Now your name.” They make “Richard,” and Heringer shows Alex how to arrange it crossword-style, using the ‘A’ for both names. Alex proudly “reads” their two names, then starts laying down strings of tiles in diagonal lines. “What does this say?” he asks. “BMFLUX,” reads his father. “I almost made ‘bum,’” Alex giggles.

“Alex wants to play board games because he sees my older kids playing,” remarks Heringer, father to Anna (ten) and Neill (seven). “And he’s mostly attracted to the games that are really too old for him – I mean, he really likes these wooden tiles! It’s because of my children’s insistence that I’ve discovered that there is always some way to adapt a board game for a young child. When he was really small, we’d just roll the dice and move the pieces around the board. He’d count, ‘one, two, three,” and his piece would have travelled about 25 squares. That was fine with me – I wasn’t trying to teach him rules, I just let him play.”

That’s about the only approach to board games and preschoolers that makes sense to Jenny Chapman, a B.C. early childhood educator with a special interest in play. “In all honesty, I would not suggest parents run out and buy a board game for a young child,” she says. “Most four-year-olds are not developmentally ready for them. They are not able to handle, much less enjoy, game rules. If I had time to spend, I would rather be reading with a little child, or mucking about. We sometimes forget the very simple things we can do together, like digging a big hole in the sandbox.”

Jim Deacove, owner of Family Pastimes and inventor of their line of co-operative games, notes that competitive games are especially difficult for younger children. “You see tension in the children’s faces and tears when something bad happens. The structure of the game itself promotes conflict and stress.” While Deacove’s company offers a wide range of interesting games that allow younger and older players to work together, he notes that many competitive games can also be played in a co-operative way. “Some adults try to soften the pain of losing by letting the child win, but I think that patronises the child. It’s awkward and artificial. If there is a ‘family score’ instead, the emphasis changes. Everyone has to try. You can help your neighbour.”

“When Neill was little, he would say, ‘Let’s play Fish with no winners,’ “ recalls Heringer. So we’d work together to make a big pile of pairs. Now Alex likes the game Amazing Labyrinth, and we help each other figure out our moves, or even trade cards. The interesting thing is, it’s not just that he doesn’t like to lose, although he doesn’t. He doesn’t like the other player to lose, either. He’ll say, ‘Take another turn because you haven’t had a match for a long time.’”

While Chapman is no fan of structured games for preschoolers, she acknowledges the attraction: “Oh, the stuff in the games is wonderful, if you can get away from playing by the rules. Young children like the interesting pieces and colourful set-up. It could be fun to just use the pieces and make up your own game. But don’t make an issue of the rules. Win and lose is a totally adult concept.”

Some parents may worry that if they just “throw out the rules” and allow their children to “cheat,” that it may be hard for children to understand and abide by the rules of play as they get older. But that hasn’t been Heringer’s experience. “When I played board games or cards with Neill, I just let him run the show. Eventually he made the transition to playing by the ‘real’ rules, and he made it easily. I left it completely up to him. But they play board games at school, for example, and he handles it fine.”

Besides, Heringer thinks there is plenty kids can learn from exploring games besides how to follow rules. “I think simple playing cards are an amazing learning tool, for sorting and matching and numbers and counting – all sorts of prereading and premath skills. We started out just matching red and black. Then, when numbers were still too difficult, we’d play Fish by suits: ‘Do you have a club?’ We’d pull out the face cards and match queens, jacks, and kings. ”

And if your child is dying for a board game of her very own? Leigh Poirier, executive director of the Canadian Toys Testing Council suggests that a successful preshool game is simple (and no reading required), visually exciting, and sturdy, with pieces that are easy for a young child to grasp and manipulate. “And look at the time factor,” she adds. “Children that age want a game that’s quick and easily accessible – easy to set up and that can be completed within a few minutes.” Some tried and true suggestions: Animal Pairs (by Galt), Candyland (Milton Bradley), Ring Around the Roses (Ravensburger), Don’t Break the Ice (Milton Bradley), Guess Who (Milton Bradley), Monopoly Junior (Parker).

Jim Deacove says that Harvest Time and The Secret Door are the Family Pastimes top sellers. “And Granny’s House is very popular in daycares.” (For order information, see Resources.)

Preschoolers can certainly get along very well in life without board games. But if they appeal to your child, there are many ways to make them are a source of pleasure, not tears. “You just have to be flexible,” says Heringer. “You can make suggestions and explain things, but then you follow your child’s lead.”

December/January 1998