Where do you see yourself in five years?
In her first post, Anchel reflects on the past five years and ponders the future of her family.
Photo courtesy of Anchel Krishna.
If you asked me what my life would look like when I got married five years ago, it would have gone something like this:
- A custom-built house in the city.
- Continuing my successful career that I thoroughly enjoyed.
- Two vacations a year — one adventurous trip to a new place and a relaxing beach getaway.
- A couple of easy-going kids who napped well, slept through the night and were in a good Montessori program.
It’s OK, fellow parents; go ahead and laugh at my naiveté. I do.
Here’s what my life actually looks like:
- A home I love that shares the same layout as about 10 others on my street.
- I’m a stay-at-home mom.
- Occasional vacations when our schedules allow.
- One beautiful daughter, Syona, who has Cerebral Palsy (CP).
First, the medical explanation: CP is a non-degenerative neurological condition that impacts how the muscles and brain communicate. Symptoms of CP can present in a variety of ways, with different levels of severity. In Syona’s case, her muscles are extremely stiff and spastic.
At 20 months, she doesn’t crawl or walk yet. She has a hard time maintaining a grasp on objects and feeding herself. Syona will soon be getting a standing frame and likely a walker. We work towards the goal of independent mobility. Like many toddlers, she doesn’t talk yet, but we’re working on it.
It’s easy to get caught up in the list of what Syona can’t do, but our life is just as much about what she can do.
Syona is spirited and opinionated. She can sit with our support. She is determined and motivated — and she’s a fighter. She doesn’t eat a lot, but will almost always try anything once. Her smile can transform the grumpiest of strangers. While she has a hard time holding onto things, she has a miraculous ability to rip off her hat and bib, no matter how secure they are. My kid is bright, engaged and very social. She’s a huge Michael Jackson fan. (“Billie Jean” will instantaneously silence her from the most serious of tantrums.)
In the world of kids with special needs, it is next to impossible to predict what they will be able to do. Time and time again her doctors have reminded us that Syona will be the one who determines her abilities.
We’re in the early stages of parenting, and in the early stages of parenting a special needs child. Like most parents, we’re trying to figure it out as we go along. I’m excited to share our journey with you, and to hear from you about your parenting chronicles — whether your tot has special needs or falls into the typically developing camp.
What I do know is that dreams that I didn’t even know I had have come true, thanks to my little girl, a wonderful husband and an incredibly supportive family. I don’t know where we’ll be five years from now, but I’m excited. I’m also pretty sure I’m going to need a lot more of those beach vacations and a bigger car than my current sports sedan.
Has your life turned out differently than you expected? Where do you see yourself and your family in the next five years?
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Ellen Stumbo (not verified) says ....
no doubt life turns out different than we plan, doesn't it? And the challenges that come make us into who we become. Thanks for sharing this with us! fun to read the first post you had here :)
Cintia (not verified) says ....
It's been 11 years since my almost idtncieal birth experience and I still remember lying on the operating table, shivering. Post partum with my first lasted 6-8 weeks and you are 100% right enlisting help to sleep! So critical. I will never forget how hard those first days, weeks and months are. Every stage is so challenging but so wonderful the contrast of emotions messes iwth your head! And amazingly, it gets easier, and it gets better. Now when I have a night out with my friends my son texts me! Crazy. Good Luck and Enjoy!!!
Braica (not verified) says ....
For parenting, I sseggut- the baby whisperer books.One is, Secrets of the baby whisperer: How to calm connect and communicate with your baby and The baby Whisperer solves all your problems, by teaching you to ask the right questions Also, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. We've used things from all 3 of these books and our son is a very happy, well adjusted child. Hoping that by starting like this, things will continue to progress and his teenage years may not be too much trouble.
James (not verified) says ....
Life is funny. Does the universe not realize that we have certain plans for how things will work? Apparently not.
One thing I have realized is that life is about constantly adapting to change and conquering new challenges. I believe that as much as we think we are in control of our lives and future, most things are just not truly up to us.
I remember when I was a kid, I used to think "In the year 2000, I will be 26. I will be married, have two kids and be so old". Wrong, wrong and a little discriminatory. :) Little did I know that I would achieve some of this, and not until 10 years later.
Anchel, you have taken on and adapted to a new set of challenges. Your ability to adapt to this change, and put everyone else first speaks to your true character.
Look forward to reading more posts and stories.
Lisa Murray (not verified) says ....
Anchel, what a beautiful first blog. I have had the wonderful privilege of spending time getting to know you and Syona and I look forward to more playdates! I am reading your story and well It mirrors mine to a T. When Connor was diagnosed with Ds I felt like all my hopes and dreams were going to be just that. I look back now (almost 8 mths later) and think what was I so worried about...he is awesome! Any child with a special need can do anything that they put their mind to, maybe at a different pace but they can and will reach their goals.
You mentioned your wonderful husband and support team...I could not agree more. The people who surround us during difficult times elevate us to a level that allows us to not only function but the thrive because we always know they will be there if we fall. I can't wait to hear more.
xo
Lisa and Connor Bruce
Jazzy says ....
If you asked me 5 years ago about my girl Anchel - I would say she was a kind spirited young women who you are so easily drawn to and someone you were proud to call friend. Over the last 5 years I have learned so much more.......Anchel you are a true example of what is so good in this world and how we can all learn that with a little bit of patience, acceptance and Love we have the ability to really transform the lives of others. You are such an inspiration to those who are close to you and now you have the opportunity to share your wisdom with so many others.
Anonymous says ....
Each word coming from ur heart i coudn't but go back to my childhood where i mostly faked to keep the tears away from my loving sisters & worrying parents. Syona my little girl is going to be the winner of the world. As a mother you r gifted. Keep dreaming & I bet you will enjoy NOT getting every thing you wanted as you could still keep dreaming. Mama
Anchel Krishna says ....
Thanks so much everyone! Great to get feedback as we start sharing our story with you.
Shannie13 (not verified) says ....
"What I do know is that dreams that I didn’t even know I had have come true, thanks to my little girl, a wonderful husband and an incredibly supportive family." best quote ever!!!!
jlro says ....
Thanks for sharing Anchel there will be many parents who will be encouraged by your blog
Kari (not verified) says ....
I don't know how you do it so well Anchel! Looking forward to following you and hearing what you have to say!
Lisa van de Geyn says ....
Welcome, Anchel! Can't wait to follow your story...you're an inspirational mama all the way. xo
Lisa