How do you deal with stress?
Anchel wants your tips on how you manage stress.
My two favourite stress relievers.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t believe it is already the end of November! I think I accidentally hit the fast-forward button on our life in September and the weeks have just flown by.
We have a lot of family birthdays and anniversaries in September and October, followed by many of the traditional Hindu festivals and holidays, and now we’re gearing up for Christmas (yes, we celebrate it all!). And, on top of all of this, we have a jam-packed schedule. But we’ve been managing using our “one-in, one-out” strategy. We’ve also been dealing with transitioning Syona to nursery school (there are still lots of tears but we are persevering), loads of paperwork and sourcing various equipment for Syona.
Up until now I thought my stress was under control — or as under control as any mom of a special needs toddler who is still not sleeping through the night. But I had a big wakeup call last week.
I’ve been meaning to go to my doctor for a few months now just to make sure the fatigue that I’m feeling is just a result of being a mom (I mentioned my never-really-slept-through-the-night toddler right?), but I’ve also been struggling to lose my baby weight. Over the past couple of months I’ve committed to getting in shape and have gotten my eating habits under control. While I’m more toned and fitting into clothes I wasn’t a month ago, that stubborn belly fat has barely budged. My doctor (who is so wonderful, smart, patient and truly lovely) explained that the fatigue and lack of weight loss is likely because of the higher-than-usual cortisol levels due to increased stress in my life. I wasn’t completely surprised. Like many of you, I’ve read the studies about how moms of adolescents and adults with autism have similar stress levels as combat soldiers. I would imagine that it is the same case for moms of children with special needs in general.
There are lots of things I do in my life to manage stress. Here’s a brief list:
- Exercise.
- Eating healthy (whole grains, fruit and veggies, lean proteins, lots of water and yes, the occasional treat).
- Talking with Dilip or another family member or friend when I am feeling stressed out.
- Playing with Syona. Just spending some time rolling around on the ground, smiling, laughing and cuddling are huge stress-relievers.
Here’s what I need to work on:
- Building meditation and deep breathing exercises into my day.
- Yoga — I love it and need to get back into it!
- Better sleeping habits. (Since Syona doesn’t sleep through the night I need to get better at going to bed earlier.)
I’m also planning to visit a naturopath to see if there is anything else that they can suggest to me so I can try to better manage my stress. (I promise I’ll report back)!
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one feeling stress and I want your help!
Are you feeling stressed? What are your stress-fighting tips?
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D Connolly (not verified) says ....
For us we have found that stress is created out of lack of control. We have found that sometimes we have to take a step back and ask if we really need to be in control of the situation. Sometimes it should be us in control but other times it should be the nurse, the OT, the doctor or a number of other people. I think as parents we feel that we should be in control but this world has different rules. Allowing people to control what they need to control has allowed us to forge stronger partnerships with less stress.
Anchel Krishna says ....
Jennifer - thanks so much! I am definitely going to check out those books...always looking for natural, healthy ways to combat stress!
Dawn - Yes, that definitely does sound like a lot on your plate. I'm so sorry that you hit that wall and were so sick. It sounds like you've really turned things around since then. I find it funny because sometimes I just get so caught up in the day-to-day that I don't realize how stressed I am (and I only have Syona and didn't go back to work) and it's only the moments where I step back that I realize how stressful it actually is! Thanks for reading :)
Dawn (not verified) says ....
I have TWO special needs children, one in grade 1 and one in Grade two. I also work full time, go to school and volunteer. Recently I got a wake up call too! I had been traveling a lot for work and upon a return from a particularally stressful trip I found myself very ill and completely exhausted. I was hospitalized for a couple of days, both of which I slept through, when I came home I slept for four more. Seems I had hit "the wall". My life came to a halt and I spent weeks trying to regain my strength. I have been rebuilding slowly but I had to face one very important fact that I hadn't grasped before - parenting two special needs children is a full time job in itself. Once I lightened my load and focused on work and my girls, I realized how stressful things were before. When you are in the cycle it is really difficult to see.
Jennifer Pinarski says ....
I'm so sorry that you're feeling stressed right now. I can relate, even if the sources aren't the same.
I've been reading a lot about elevated cortisol levels. It's actually quite common in endurance athletes and I'm working on healthy eating to try and combat it. Brendan Brazier's books deal with this quite a bit. You may find them helpful.
Best wishes to you!