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Lisa asks: Do your kids throw tantrums?

Lisa admits she didn’t even know how bad a tantrum could get — until Peyton threw her first fit.

By //
Originally published on TodaysParent.com July 09, 2012

Someone's about to lose it.

The other night I tweeted the following:

HELP: Peyton is having a major temper tantrum; I've never seen anything like it. (Besides last night when this started.) What do we do?

When I say “major temper tantrum,” I mean MAJOR TEMPER TANTRUM. And I needed help. (I also might’ve made reference to her name rhyming with a certain dark lord’s.) The kid lost it.

Since she figured out how to get out of her crib on her own, she hasn’t been too impressed with the concept of bedtime. So the other night when we did exactly what we’ve been doing for the past 13 months — when it’s time for bed, Peter wraps her in her blanket, gives her Ariel (the Little Mermaid) to sleep with and takes her to her crib — she freaked. Her screaming was unlike anything we’ve ever heard. (Truthfully, it scared Addy so much that she started crying. Then Mommy started crying. What can I say.)

When we brought her back into our room to try and calm her, she flipped out even more — wailing, flailing, punching, kicking, stomping, shaking, crying and yelling so hard she almost threw up. I think I saw her head spin around. She wouldn’t let either of us touch her. We didn’t know what she wanted — Food? A drink? A diaper change? We did it all. She didn’t stop.

After more than an hour of losing her mind (and losing my mind), and just before I Googled “how to tell if your kid is possessed,” she finally — while standing — closed her eyes and fell asleep.

She’s been disastrous for the past few nights. I’ve decided she’s teething, going through a growth spurt, entering the terrible twos a bit early, or all of the above.

Twitter pals have told us to ride it out — not to give into her screaming. But that kind of almost-hyperventilating, almost-vomiting cry breaks my heart.

Has your child ever thrown a tantrum like this? How long did it last, and what was the cause?

More from Mom says, Dad says

  • Anonymous says ....

    My daughter swears by this method. Give it a try and you may be pleasantly surprised.

    http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/293/

    • 22 July 2012
  • Denny says ....

    Both of my daughters would have serious crying fits when they were upset or angry or didn't get their way. They cried so hard, they would hold their breath, turn purple and pass out. The first few times with my oldest TOTALLY freaked us out. Our doctor told us it was okay...she wasn't going to do any damage (as long as she didn't topple off of anything when she passed out). As she got older and did it more for attention or to get her way, we wouldn't react to it. All we would do was make sure she was on flat ground, set her on her back so she didn't smack her head and wait until she came to again. After some time, she realized that this wasn't getting her what she wanted. She finally gave up on this tactic. Our youngest does the same thing and unfortunately for her, we were already well versed in this method of parental terrorism so it didn't work for her at all. She still tries it every once in awhile. Sometimes I think it's not even a conscious thing..she just gets so mad and cries so hard it happens. But we still handle it the same...we wait until she comes to and calms down and then talk to her about what's going on. It's hard to sit by and watch them get so upset and not be able to calm them or help them. Kids are good at knowing mom & dad's buttons and how to push them and they play on our sympathies very well. The important thing is to stay calm, gauge the seriousness of the situation and what's motivating the tantrum and give them time to calm down before you try to handle the conflict.

    • 16 July 2012
  • Connie (not verified) says ....

    My oldest daughter has done that on several occasions. All I try to do is get her to calm down, by talking to her softly, rubbing her hair and telling to to take a deep breathe. If she is freaking out so much she can't do that, I just take her out to the living room and have her sitting up so she can't choke if she was to be sick. She stays there until she stops crying. You cannot force a child to calm down before they are ready. But you cannot spoil them with affections, otherwise you will start a cycle of behaviour that will never stop.

    • 12 July 2012
  • Vicki (not verified) says ....

    Please, don't IGNORE your child having a tantrum. They are hysterical, out of control, and terrified. Don't give in to their demands, but DO hold, soothe, and talk to your child.
    I encourage you to read Barbara Colloroso's books on parenting for a common sense approach to parenting that preserves everyone's dignity. Try to find out why she's crying. Is she newly scared of the dark? Did you change something in her room? Here's hoping there are peaceful bedtimes in your future. Stay strong mama, it's a bumpy road we're on.
    V

    • 11 July 2012
  • O (not verified) says ....

    My daughter is 22 months and from 3 months old she stopped breathing. I went to go change her diaper and she was upset and opened her mouth wide and stopped breathing, she literally turned purple & blue. I was so scared and in midst of calling 911 when she came to again. I spoke to another gf who has a son that used to do this and she has called 911 and they said to keep blowing air in the child's face. It's so scarry and she still does it and because there's no circulation to her brain, she passes out shortly after she starts breathing again, sometimes she grinds her teeth and does the chicken. If anyone has experience with this, please let me know.

    • 11 July 2012
  • Anonymous says ....

    Excellent advice jasmyn has just given you!

    • 11 July 2012
  • jasmyn (not verified) says ....

    If you give into it, it will last longer and they will continue until she is older because she will have learned that tantrums work. While it may break your heart, giving in is a short term solution that gives way to more problems and a kid you're afraid to take anywhere or say no to. You need to put her somewhere safe and ride it out, ignore it, walk away. Let her know when she is calm you are there for her. She is learning about emotions and how to manage them. Let her learn.
    My two year old thought that tantrums may work when we are shopping or away from home. When we are at home she goes to her room to chill out and then we deal with her emotions once she is ready to be civilized, while we are out, dad or I bring her to the truck (so she isn;t that kid in walmart driving everyone nuts), put her in her carseat and ignore her behaviour (knowing she and her surroundings are safe) until she is calm. In this state they are not willing to listen (or able) and cannot be reasoned with so just let it run it's course. In no way does this child get anything she is tantruming for. Tantrums are few and far between and last a very short time at my house. They know it does NOT work so why bother? When my kids tantrum it is usually because they are very tired or very hungry and just have nothing left and struggle to control themselvs. It is usually sign that we have to go home at this point.

    • 11 July 2012