Body after baby
After baby number two, Kristin will be looking to bounce back quickly
This is me deadlifting at the Crossfit Games Regional Qualifier in May of this year (about a week before I got pregnant)
I’m standing at my company’s holiday meetup, chatting with one of my bosses: a doe-eyed, dimple-cheeked woman with a contagious smile and a tiny, trim figure.
“I can’t believe how quickly you bounced back,” I eye her small waist with no attempt to disguise my envy. ”You look amazing. Even more lithe now than you were pre-baby?”
“I’m not sure about that," she says, modestly. "And honestly, everything’s just a little different, you know?” She lowers her voice. "There’s leftover skin and everything’s kind of in a different place now.”
She makes a face and I swallow a sip of sparkling water, rubbing my hand over my half-basketball where my baby kicks and jabs, the same place where my abs used to lay tight and hard under my shirt. I hope they come back. I’ll make them come back. I can make them come back. Can’t I?
I’ve heard the same mournful proclamation dozens of times, from friends, coworkers, and women at the gym: “My body’s just not the same after having babies.” It's followed with a knowing eye roll, a deflated exhale and, maybe, a guiltless hand dip back into the caramel popcorn bag.
Six years ago, after the birth of my son, I said the same thing. I regarded my flappy skin, my post-partum pancake bum and the puffy purple bags underneath my eyes and accepted my entry into frumpy Motherhood as an inevitable rite of passage. I ate rice pudding for lunch and coffee and bagel shrapnels for dinner and sighed at my cellulite as the fault of childbirth, of the stretching of my years on earth from the 20s to the 30s.
My jeans did fit me differently after I had my son. There was a muffin top that overflowed on top of my pants. And the chicken flab that dangled on my arms could be deftly blamed on Motherhood and forgotten with long-sleeved sweaters.
It wasn’t until years later, when I discovered Crossfit and the feasibility of clean eating, that I realized that I could have a better body in my 30s, as a Mom than I ever had in my pre-baby 20s. It wasn’t until I saw pictures of Crossfitting women in their 40s and 50s with sculpted arms, rippled abs and shapely legs of doom that I understood that body shape is almost always, ultimately, a choice. It wasn’t until I met Angie Pye, Victoria Crossfitter and Mama of two that I really understood: our limitations are all about what we expect, and what we accept.
Our potential is something different entirely: a soaring, limitless capacity whose end we won’t begin to understand until we start chasing it diligently, breathlessly, with complete disregard for life’s obstructions.
We’re not doomed to frumphood because we’ve carried a baby in our bellies. We’re not relegated to flabbiness and leftover goldfish crackers just because we’re Mamas. Our best years certainly have not passed us by. With a little work, we can be hotter and fitter and more confident than we could have ever dreamed back when we were 22.
I obtained the best body I’d ever had sometime around my 33rd year of life. Eliminating processed foods from my diet and employing a varied exercise routine every day brought about astonishing changes in my figure. The cellulite whooshed away and muscles appeared: suddenly I felt strong, empowered and completely bereft of the notion that the residue of childbirth had any control of my body. I understood for the first time that being healthy, fit and strong enabled me to be a better mom: a happier, more positive woman with confidence and excitement to reach new goals and heights.
Although pregnancy has caused temporary dents in my self esteem, I’m determined to have my body and my confidence back by four months post partum. I believe in the power of writing goals down (one of my 2010 goals that I secretly wrote down: marrying my then-boyfriend Corey Auger by the end of 2011. See? Embarrassing in retrospect and also effective). So, here we go:
- I will bounce back from the birth of my second baby boy and, by four months postpartum, I will have a four pack. (I realize that a goal of a four pack is entirely un-noble and frivolous but it doesn’t mean I don’t want it)
- I will adhere to my resolution to eat whole, unprocessed, locally raised and pure foods without additives – even postpartum when I am exhausted and really deserve and need, and can repeatedly justify, rapid inhalation of several sour cream Timbits.
- I’ll keep up this Crossfitting thing up until the day I give birth if I can, in order to keep up my strength and ensure a smooth transition back into power and physical improvement and mental strength.
- I will refrain from getting discouraged by my own sheer girth. The current magnitude of my rear end has something to do with needed fat reservoirs for the baby, and nothing to do with my entitlement to several ice cream sandwiches.
I’m excited to define my post-baby potential for the second time around. I have the feeling it’s going to be even greater than the first time around and more fulfilling than it ever was before I was a Mama.
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What do you think?
Candace (not verified) says ....
Great post! My youngest is 4 and though I am somewhat fit, I try (off and on :) to be more motivated. Your picture and post help with that motivation. I also agree with the some various comments, and I think we all need to allow ourselves some time to do what we want. Maybe tomorrow...
AEMom says ....
I think it's great that you've been able to accomplish what you have. But I cannot figure out a way to incorporate more than the 1 hour per week that I manage -- I go to a fitness dance class.
I also used to work out on the weekends and at the gym here at my work. I now have to sacrifice that work gym time in order to accomodate my kids' new school schedule.
I also spend so much time on the weekend going to the psychologist to help with the family issues, helping my sons stay on track with their homework (which they both need help with), doing laundry, catching up on chores, and collapsing night after night into bed far too late and not getting enough sleep.
My life is not getting easier as my kids get older, it's getting harder. I absolutely hate that I have gained weight and never have time to exercise. And I really don't have time. With a special needs child and a high maintenance one and a job outside the home -- I am strung out.
I want to have more for myself -- but I just don't see how to make it happen.
A mom (not verified) says ....
Hi Kristin, I enjoy reading your blog. I was a hard core fitness enthusiast before my child was born. I share similar feelings to those made by anna206 after reading your latest post. And I don't want to cause a stir either. As of yet (3yrs later), I haven't returned to the same intensity, and I had to change jean sizes. But I'm ok with that because motherhood has broadened my definition of success/happiness etc. As a result of this change of perspective, I'm a lot more gentle with myself about fitness and many other things in life. When reading your post, I was concerned that some women would feel "less than" for not embarking upon an intense regime or feel that happiness could not be attained unless they were extremely fit/toned. After reading your response to her, I realize that you are not stating that all women need to become extremely fitness oriented to be happy. I'll keep reading and wish you the best with your pregnancy.
Deanne says ....
Hi Kristin, great post! I was also motivated to resume working out (in my case, running) soon after my daughter was born. I gave myself a year to get back into pre-pregnancy running shape. It took about eight months.
What worked for me was to change focus. I love running and racing but realistically, I no longer had the time for half-marathons and marathons and the 70k+ weekly mileage required for training. Now, I concentrate on the 5k distance and running those races as fast as possible. I like this new challenge and finished the race season strongly.
kristinauger says ....
Hey Anna,
Totally legit comment. And I don't think every woman should be as passionate as I am about fitness. There are ten bazillion things to be passionate about, and a lot of them are way more important than a 6-pack.
But. This column is about fitness and motivation and bouncing back after a baby and so I'm writing about what works for me. Working out hard clears my head, makes me less stressed, makes me feel good about my body. But hardcore workouts and strict diets aren't for everyone, and I agree: to each their own.
I'm saying that if you *want* to be super fit and lean after you've had kids...you can be. Only if you want it (and barring medical issues, etc.) If you don't want it, that is absolutely cool.
I definitely don't mean to insinuate that all women need to get rid of their baby pouch, and apologize if it came across that way.
kristinauger says ....
Thanks Anonymous. And yeah - it's all about wanting it. If you don't care that much about being fit/in shape, then fine. But if you want it, you really can do it. I don't necessarily think it's easy, but I am certain that it's worth it.
I hope you find your fire! :-)
Anonymous says ....
Kristin, I love this post. I'm 2 years out from baby number two and sometimes feel like I can never run fast or be fit again (even though I half-heartedly try). I was fast and fab after baby 1 because I WANTED to be. Somewhere in the last two years I lost that drive. This post reminds me that I just need to find something to get fired up about.