Baby

8. When playing with babies and toddlers, lead by following

As you play with your child, you’ll want to show him things, give him new ideas and help him develop skills. That’s natural. But it’s also important to let your child, even a little baby, take the lead at times. Essentially that means observing your baby, then basing your response or action on what seems to interest him.

It can start very simply. A dad holding his infant, Dylan, notices that he seems to be looking at the ceiling fan. Daddy says, “Oh, do you like that fan?” He takes his baby over for a closer look.

Seven months later, they are playing with blocks. Sometimes Daddy builds a tower and the baby knocks it down with glee. Other times Dad waits to see what the boy will do.

Dylan picks up a block and holds it out. Dad takes it and says, “What can we do with this red block?” He offers it back. Dylan takes it and places it on the floor. He picks up another and holds it out. Dad takes it and puts it on top of the red block. Then Dad picks up a green block and holds it out. Dylan takes it and tries to put it on the tower.

Babies love this kind of back and forth play with their parents. But it also prepares them to take the initiative in their own learning. “When children are learning, we can only show and teach them so much,” says Shanker. “At some point the child has to take a leap on his own. When you follow your baby’s lead during play, you’re giving him practice at taking those little leaps, and providing the emotional support he needs to make that leap.”

Originally published in Today's Parent Baby & Toddler, Fall/Winter 2009