Baby

At a local folk festival last summer, the weather was perfect and families were out in force. Young couples ambled by, babies on their hips, in their arms, strapped to their backs or fronts, riding on their shoulders. It looked really nice, but a bit odd, too, and it took me a while to figure out why. There were hardly any strollers.

Stroller, car seat, crib, infant seat, Exersaucer, baby swing - our society is full of baby containers. You can buy an infant seat that clicks into an installed car seat or stroller base, so you can move from the house to the car to the mall and back without ever actually picking your baby up. You can buy a device that vibrates your baby's crib when she cries, so you don't have to comfort her. You can install a baby monitor (audio or video) in your baby's room, so you don't have to go in there unless he really needs you.

Now these inventions can certainly be useful. Some fussy babies are so happy in a swing it seems miraculous. With a baby monitor, you can go do a bit of gardening or play with an older child and know that if your little one cries you'll hear him, and that's a good thing. And strollers are practical and comfortable in many situations.

But what about the cumulative effect of all these mechanical assistants? A rather alarming news item in the January 1998 Brown University Child and Adolescent Behavior Letter reported an increased incidence of "deformational plagiocephaly" in babies, a flattening and distortion of the skull that results when a baby continually rests his head in one position. The newsletter notes that not only do babies now usually sleep on their backs, but "infant carriers [i.e. seats], car seats and infant swings all require a semi-reclined supine/sit posture." While the report describes this admittedly rare condition at some length, it doesn't raise an equally important concern: When a baby spends most of her day (and night) in what is essentially a glorified box, isn't she missing out on something vital - the warmth, touch, rhythm and smell of her parents and caregivers?

"Babies are designed to be held close," says registered midwife Mary Hunking, currently on maternity leave from her work with the Community Midwives of Kingston (Ontario). "It's essential to their healthy development that they have that skin-to-skin contact."

For Hunking, whose two children were born prematurely, a "close contact lifestyle" grew naturally out of the kangaroo care (skin-to-skin holding) her tiny babies needed in their first weeks. "I find it easier to have my babies close to me," says Hunking, who uses a cloth sling to help her carry the baby comfortably. "In a sling they're happier and I'm more mobile. And it helps in getting to know your baby; you become more aware of the baby's subtle signals - not just the cries - because the baby is right beside you."

Jessica Lindeman and her partner, Jacob Rodenburg, didn't even own a stroller until their baby was over a year old. Instead, they carried Liam in a sling, and later a backpack, and both found practical benefits: "Liam was born in late autumn and I didn't have a car during the day through that first winter," remembers Lindeman. "I know I wouldn't have gotten out and about as much without a sling. Because he was right against me, I had a better idea of how warm he was, and I could protect his ears and face."

Rodenburg particularly likes the mobility "wearing his baby" allows: "You can go anywhere; you're not confined to the streets." But both parents mostly talk about how much they and Liam enjoyed the close contact.

"When a baby is right there with you in the sling, you interact more," observes Lindeman. "You see his reactions to things, and you're more involved with him. When he was very young and cranky, I would carry him around the house, and he was fascinated by everything I did. He'd watch the water running in the sink and listen to the dishes clinking together."

"I could monitor him easily, see how he was doing," adds Rodenberg. "I liked being able to see him and touch him easily. And I think the closeness was reassuring for him, too." Most parents do love the warmth, feel and smell of their babies. So why do we so often keep them at arm's length?

Hunking feels that it's largely due to cultural pressure. "Our culture tends to encourage separation of parents and babies. Parents are often told that a lot of close contact with their baby will complicate their lives, that the baby will be more difficult or sleep badly. I often see mothers who are trying to fight their own instincts - they're afraid of holding or comforting the baby too much." But Hunking encourages new parents to follow their hearts - and hands - instead of trying to train their baby to spend more time in a crib or infant seat. Think of it this way. Seats, cribs and swings all have their uses. But there's only one truly indispensable baby holder - and that's you.

Resources

Star Power for Preschoolers: Learning Life Skills through Physical Play , by Andrew Oser and Taia Morley, Redleaf Press, 1997. Lots of activities, including games with balls and other simple toys, to help your child develop physical skills.

June 1999