Spoiled rotten!
How to tell if you're overindulging your child and how to put a stop to it
It started innocently enough: a little pink top from Winners one week, a dollar store dolly and Tweety Bird cookie the next. But before long, I was buying my four-year-old a toy or treat almost every day. It didn’t occur to me that I might be overdoing it until she started answering the door with “Hi, what did you bring me?” Then alarm bells went off. Was I turning my daughter, Scotia, into a spoiled brat?
Most parents bump up against the S-word at some point — usually when Johnny is clamouring for more toys, candy or to get his own way. It’s a term many child-rearing experts don’t like using. “It’s calling your child a name, and it’s not always clear what it means,” says Calgary child psychologist Roslyn Mendelson. How many toys or tantrums does a spoiled child make?
That depends more on how a child behaves than on what he possesses, say the experts. It’s natural for kids to want more, more, more. But how do they handle the word “no”? There’s nothing wrong with giving your child a treat. But if you’re stuck in traffic and come home empty-handed, is a tantrum guaranteed? “There are lots of children who have lots of stuff, but they don’t necessarily have a sense of entitlement — that they should get everything they want and deserve everything they get,” says Mendelson.
While no parent wants to raise a greedy, demanding child, we do all want our children to be happy. And that makes parents easy prey for the spoiling traps.
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