Baby

When Molly Walsh was three, she flung her arms out as wide as they'd go, declaring, "I love you this much, Mommy." Then she brought her thumbs and index fingers together to form a small diamond: "And I love you this much, Daddy."

Those words are more than enough to bruise the heart of any devoted dad. But Molly's father, Patrick, is surprisingly philosophical as he discusses her preference for Mommy. That's partly because the Aurora, Ont., dad has been through this before. Although his older kids, Hayley, 10, and Riley, eight, never apportioned their affections with such specificity, Mom was still their first choice when they needed help. "If Mommy's around, Mommy's got to do it. Daddy's mostly for jumping on," Walsh says. "You can't help but feel a bit slighted."

It's a common scenario in households with children under six: One parent, usually mom, is the star of the show, while the other mostly plays second fiddle. In a recent Todaysparent.com poll of almost 1,000 parents, 69 percent said their children under six prefer mom, while 14 percent said dad is numero uno; only 15 percent said their kids don't express a preference (two percent said their kids prefer someone other than mom or dad).

Why do kids tend to favour one parent over another - and how should parents react? According to Susan Cunningham, an early childhood educator and supervisor of the Sheridan College Early Childhood Centre in Mississauga, Ont., the reasons for favouritism change as kids develop. "If parents understand those ages and stages," she says, "they're going to have more confidence that they're doing the right things to mitigate it."

Originally published in Today's Parent, June 2006