5 ways to make the holidays better this year

Forget last year’s expensive stress-fest. Take back the most wonderful time of the year with these expert tips

Rhea Seymour,

Originally published in Today's Parent November 2011

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“I hate Christmas,” says Carrie Simon,* an Oakville, Ont. stay-at-home mom. “The rest of the year, my life with two young children feels crazy enough, and then you add Christmas on top of that and there’s too much to do. By Boxing Day, I’m bitchy and glad it’s over.” If you’d rather face a root canal than December’s demands, let go of traditions that sucked the fun from holidays past and get the season you want with our tips.

Enjoy (rather than endure) the togetherness time
Last year: You spent more time commuting between relatives than celebrating with them.
This year: Manage expectations.
“We have two sets of parents wanting to see us between Christmas Eve and Boxing Day,” says Newmarket, Ont., marketing consultant Cathy Young.* “I feel like the bad guy to want Christmas morning at home with our nine-year-old daughter.” But trying to please everyone is the worst mistake, says Vancouver family therapist Benno Dreger. “You stretch yourself too thin and start to neglect not only yourself, but your own family. Then it’s a train wreck because you burn out, stress creeps in and you start snapping at people.”
If you’re planning a quiet Christmas at home, tell relatives now that you’d love to see them, then invite them for Boxing Day. Maybe you want the kids to enjoy Christmas morning in their PJs at home. “By breaking the news in advance, they have a chance to accept it,” he says. “If they’ve already bought groceries for Christmas dinner, it’s a huge disappointment.”

Celebrate without breaking the bank
Last year: You woke up with a credit hangover on New Year’s Day.
This year: Put more thought into gift giving.
Decide on a budget. Determine what you can afford, then put the cash into separate envelopes (so if you’re shopping for a dozen people, you’ll have 12 envelopes), says Gail Vaz-Oxlade, TV host of Til Debt Do Us Part and author of MoneySmart Kids. You won’t rack up debt and you’ll be less likely to overspend. “To splurge on one person, you have to steal from someone else’s envelope.”

Track purchases Jot down gift ideas and what you’ve purchased. This way, you won’t overbuy.
Gift your time Think of paid services and gift coupons for something you’re willing to do, such as free babysitting once a month for your sister.

Last year: Your list was longer than Santa’s beard.
This year: Trim your list before trimming the tree. “We buy presents for everybody and easily spend over $1,000,” says Simon. “By the time my husband’s relatives give me ideas, it’s close to Christmas and I’m spending full price. And it’s usually last-minute, with kids in tow.” Instead, talk to your family at Thanksgiving about doing a Secret Santa or Texas Swap with a dollar limit, say $25, so each adult only buys one gift for another adult within the extended family. Or agree not to exchange with friends and their kids. “Make a plan to go for dinner or get a pedicure in January instead,” says Edmonton professional organizer Kristie Demke, president of Professional Organizers in Canada.